Slightly Depressed

I am slightly depressed right now and it is keeping from being able to sleep.  The girls are all passed out, so is the hubby and I sit here staring blankly at my screen.  Why might you ask am I depressed?  Well it is because I want nothing more than to be with my best friend, my mom in Cali.  My mom moved back in Nov. 2007 and has not been home since Xmas 2007.  We did visit last year for 3 weeks, but it just wasn’t long enough.  I want nothing more than for her to see her beautiful grand daughters.  She got to spend the first 10 months of Khloe’s life with her, but didn’t meet Keira until after she turned a year old and even then it was only for 3 weeks and Kaylee is already 4.5 months old and she has yet to meet her.

So why the sudden depression over not being with my mom?  It’s not so sudden and has been on-going, but just hit me again over the last week or so because my sister is going to be moving back there again.  What does this mean for me?  It means I am basically stuck here with no friends or family.  Ok, my grandmother lives here, but she isn’t the easiest person to get along with.  I also have all my uncles, but I never see them…. hell they don’t call for my birthday or the girls’ birthdays. 

We could easily move there in a few months if we save, my mom already wants to share a place with us.  Hubby and I love my mom and know that living with her will be no big deal.  She respects our privacy, our discipline in our children and our personal beliefs even if she disagrees.  We can’t move though because of hubby’s oldest daughter.  This wouldn’t bother me so much if we saw her more often, but we see her every other weekend.  She doesn’t want to come visit half the time, and when she is here all she does is cry saying she wants to go home.  She is miserable the entire time she is here and the only time she wants to visit is when she knows she has gifts here for a birthday or holiday.

I will never say this to hubby, though I have threatened to take the girls and leave if I get up the money, but I know I wont.  I love my hubby, but I also love my mom.  I am stuck in a place that I don’t know how to get out of.  On one side I make my hubby happy, but leave myself hurting for the need of my mom, on the other side I can either make him move with us or move without him leaving him hurting from missing us or his daughter.

I don’t have many friends and those that I do have are still partying, not ready to settle down or blew me off when I had Khloe.  I have many online friends and one that does live near my mom in Cali who I got to meet when we went to visit.  She has a daughter Khloe’s age and it was a great time seeing the girls play.  So as you can see there isn’t much except for my little family that keeps me here.  It is my love for hubby that keeps me from being completely happy.  I am miserable on the inside and I just want to scream.

What would you do?

My Stash!

So the lovely Vanessa @ The Crafty Nest has an awesome linky up to share your stash so here is my stash.

Kaylee’s stash includes (some not pictured)
BG 3.0 – 2 Butternut, 1 Blossom, 1 Ribbit, 1 Clementine
BG AIO Med- 1 Clementine, 1 Blossom, 1 Grasshopper
2 Fuzzibunz OS- Choco Truffle & Cotton Candy (waiting on a Crushed Berries to ship)
1 Fuzzibunz PF LG- Tootie Frootie
2 Rumparooz OS- Amethyst in snaps and Tulip in aplix
2 Katydid OS- Sage & Berry
3 Goodmama OS
11 LG Blueberry pockets (I think I’d have to go count)
1 Med BottomBumpers- Lilac
2 WAHM made Med fitted
1 WAHM OS in cream
2 Med Thirsties covers in Lavender
2 Small Thirsties covers in Lavender
1 LG Bummis Super Brite cover in pink
1 WAHM med/lg wetbag
2 WAHM small wetbags
1 Small Natural Baby wetbag in Blackberry

I still need more because I AM ADDICTED!

Katydid One-Size Pocket Diaper Review

Katydid Cloth DiapersFeatures

  • Micro-fleece inner layer
  • Patented front-opening pocket
  • Waterproof outer layer
  • Gentle elastic
  • One-size, fits babies from 8-35 lbs.
  • Quick and secure snap closures
  • Newborn side snaps
  • Wrap and snap feature

I purchased my Katydid when Kaylee was about a month old.  I originally loved fitted diapers or prefolds with covers, but soon found the love of pocket diapers. I was a little worried about switching to one-size diapers because despite being 7lbs 15.6oz Kaylee appeared to be a peanut and was still very much fitting into her newborn/x-small diapers.  I was afraid that a one-size diaper would swim on her and I would wake up covered in pee or poop, but it was time to give something new a try.  Hubby needed an easier diaper, watching him try to Snappi a prefold or put on a fitted and a cover was a riot.  I figured one-size pockets would be a breeze for him, especially if I pre-stuff them for him.I first purchased a Berry Katydid and followed the washing instructions;

First wash cold with 1/4 manufacturer’s recommended amount (1/8 for front loaders) of additive-free detergent. Rinse.
Then wash hot with 1/4 manufacturer’s recommended amount (1/8 for front loaders) of additive-free detergent. Rinse.
Tumble dry medium.

I did line dry because we don’t have a dryer and once dry I tried it out right away.  I gave it the ultimate test, wearing it over night.  She was on the smallest size setting and had on just the newborn insert to see how it held up with just one insert.  The next day I was washing our bedding I figured if she leaked it was not a big deal.  Since Kaylee is almost exclusively breastfed and co-sleeps we laid down around 11pm for the night and woke up at around 8am, so roughly 9 hours with the Katydid on.  Not one leak!  I was in love from the start.

Now at 4 months old Kaylee is wearing the diaper on the medium snap setting with just the adjustable insert and hasn’t had a single issue.  I loved the diaper so much I switched out one of my Bum Genius 3.0 diapers on order for a Sage Katydid.  While I am a little worried she might outgrow it before potty training I do plan on testing it out on 34lb Keira to see how well it fits to get an idea of just how long we will have with the diaper.

Absorbency = A+; it is our go to over night diaper. Not a leak yet!
Design = A; I find that sometimes the rise snaps come undone as I am putting the diaper on Kay, but it is also due it part to her becoming a major squirmy child during changes.
Fabrics = A+; soft micro-fleece, super soft on babies bottom, while the microfiber insert holds a ton of moisture.
Colors = B; with only 4 colors you are very limited, but owner and creator Katie says new stuff is in the works :)
Dry Time = B+; the diaper itself dries in no time at all, however the inserts take quite some time to dry
Cost = A+; at $17.95 a diaper they are one of the cheapest one-size pocket diapers I have found
Overall score A to a A-! Great diaper and overall happy with my purchase.

Katydid did not provide me with a diaper to try, they don’t even know I exist. I purchased this diaper on my own for use with our children. I did not get paid anything to write this review.

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ClickN READ Review

Finally after some very hot weather leaving the girls beyond cranky and a family emergency over the weekend I got a chance to sit down and check out ClickN READ.  I was going to check it out on my own being that Khloe has been very crabby lately and then later on, as it cooled down get her to sit down with me to test out a lesson.

I wanted to check it out on my own because I wasn’t sure how well Khloe would do with it.  I opted to try out ClickN Spell first thinking that spelling words first might be easier than jumping right into reading and yet again Khloe proved me wrong.  After logging into my account Khloe heard the teacher ClickN KID and raced over to join me.

Since Khloe is still learning the last of her lower case alphabet I decided that Lesson 1 would be best to begin with.  I wasn’t sure what to expect, but we were taken to The Letter Sound Chamber where you are introduced to the sounds each letter makes.  In this lesson we were introduced to Aa and Mm (perfect they are showing uppercase next to lowercase, just what Khloe needs) and Khloe knew right away what all four letters were.  It took her a little while to get used to the sounds they make, but picked it up after a few tries.  The next step in this lesson is associating the letter sounds to the correct letter on the keyboard.

The Letter Sound Chamber – Learn Phonics Letter Sounds
All phonics lessons begin here. The onscreen teacher, “ClickN KID”, gently guides your child through interactive phonics letter sound exercises. Children learn all of the letter sounds and their corresponding letter shapes required for reading mastery as well as spelling and keyboarding skills. Each phonics lesson introduces a new letter sound which is then practiced along with five previously introduced letter sounds.

After trying out the letter sounds you move onto The Listening Cube where the letter sounds are used in words and you have to pick which letter sound it is used it.  Khloe did ok with this section of the lesson, better than I expected.  She needed some help from mommy to determine which letter they were looking for, but she is only 3.

The Listening Cube – Learn Phonics Word Blending
Next, your child is automatically taken to the Listening Cube which systematically incorporates the letter sounds taught in the first Letter Sound Chamber into beginning, middle and ending sounds in words. Those same letter sounds are then systematically incorporated into a word blending exercise which teaches your child how to decode the individual sounds in a word and come up with the sound of the word.

Like ClickN SPELL, ClickN READ offers their amazing progress reports on how your child is doing.  There is also printable sheets to help refresh your child in between lessons, one for words and one for sentences, all of which are used in the ClickN READ lessons.

I was really expecting this program to be too hard for Khloe and was pleasantly surprised by how close it was to where she educationally. ClickN READ will be the perfect learning tool for her come this fall.  Being as it is currently summer and Khloe is very aware that her older sister and cousins are out of school for the year I plan to wait until September when they return to school to start her in Pre-K at home.  However now with ClickN READ (she calls it her learning computer game) I can easily have her do a lesson whenever she wants and begin from the start once September rolls around.
Like ClickN SPELL this program is a very easy to navigate learning tool for any age child (though right now I don’t trust Khloe alone on the computer, who knows what havoc she might cause) and I am very grateful to Felica at ClickN KIDS for giving me the opportunity to review both programs.  If you plan on homeschooling you should really try out the sample lessons on the ClickN KIDS website and add their programs into your curriculum.

Buy It

ClickN READ is available online at ClickN KIDS for $59.85 for one child (they offer 3 monthly payments of $19.95 as well) and $19.95 to add an additional child to the program.reviewpost


Why Can’t I Quit….

Why can’t I quit smoking?  I wish it was easier.

I started smoking on New Years right before I turned 21.  All growing up I was anti-smoking and always pushing others to try and quit.  As a teen I watched most of my friends puffing away across from school before we had to go in, tormenting the cop who could not bother them unless they stepped into the street and onto school property.  I lived with a smoking mom for my whole life, who tried numerous times to quit, but had no luck.

So why might you ask did I start?  Like I said it was New Years and I suffer from bad anxiety and had attended a party with my sister.  Every hour or so she would head out to smoke and I would join her so I wouldn’t be alone.  After doing this several times and freezing my butt off I grabbed one of her butts and smoked it.  At first I just social smoked when I was out drinking, but within a few months I found myself smoking full time.

I tried quitting cold turkey when I found out I was pregnant with Khloe just over 4 years ago.  I was smoking 1.5-2 packs a day and my first appt. after not smoking for 2 days my blood pressure was high.  My cardiologist and OB both suggested that I start smoking again as I was risking a heart attack.  With a history of heart attacks in my family and having a stage 3 heart murmur I was already being treated as moderate risk and being seen more than a typical pregnancy.  I did cut way back on my smoking to a half pack, but I was not happy even doing that.

I did try quitting after Khloe was born, but I got pregnant with Keira only 4 months after having Khloe.  Keira breastfed until just before her first birthday not giving me the option of trying different methods of quitting until she weaned.  I did try once she weaned, but it is beyond hard to do it when you are always around smokers.  I want to say no I don’t need one.  I want to tell everyone I don’t want to come out and smoke with them, but it is harder than I ever imagined.

I am really hoping to slowly cut down, but I will say since hubby has returned to work I smoke maybe 5 a day.  Generally one cigarette will last me until after hubby gets home around 3pm, sometimes even until 5pm.

I don’t have the time to go out and smoke now being a SAHM all alone again.  Maybe one day soon I will be announcing on here that I have finally quit.

Anyone else out there trying to quit?  Want to motivate each other?  Feel free to email me or comment.

ClickN SPELL Review

While preparing to homeschool I am on the hunt for learning tools, products and supplies.  I know I have some time still since Khloe is three and a half, but I am one to over prepare and to be ready for anything.  In my search I stumbled onto ClickN KIDS.  I loved the sample lessons and bookmarked them to order a little bit further down the road.  When Felicia at ClickN KIDS contacted me to review their programs with the girls I jumped at the chance.

ClickN SPELL is a research based spelling program for PreK through 5th grade that teaches the 800 most commonly used words in the English language. The program may also be used as an intervention curriculum for struggling spellers regardless of age or grade level.
Mastering this list of words has been proven to be very successful in mastering English. For example, the most commonly spoken 800 words are used 13 times more frequently than the next most common 800 words. ClickN SPELL therefore provides a solid foundation not just for spelling, but also for the English language in general.
Authored by nationally recognized research professor, Dr. J. Ron Nelson author of our award winning ClickN READ Phonics program, we again offer the most powerful teaching tool of its kind. The unique instructional design used in ClickN SPELL makes spelling more fun and more effective than ever before.  WE GUARANTEE IT!

After purchasing ClickN SPELL you will be sent an email with your login details to setup your account.  Setup takes only a few minutes.  You create a setup password so that your children can’t access any of the areas of your account that would change any of your settings.  In your setup area you can view and change your program settings including the lesson they start with (you can also put them back lessons if you feel they need to go over the words again) and access the Dolch Worksheets which include not only worksheets of the words, but flash cards as well. ClickN KIDS also offers suggestions for what lessons to begin with based on your child’s grade level within your program setup area.  With a setup password you can easily place a desktop item for your child to open and continue their lessons on their own without worry of them altering your personal settings for the program.

Since Khloe is just mastering her lower case letters we started at lesson 1.  Cosmo Cat your teacher really held Khloe’s short attention span and she didn’t move once during the entire lesson.  Cosmo Cat starts by showing you a word and then using it in a sentence and having you spell it while it is visible on the screen, next he removes the word, speaks it to your child and uses it in a sentence and asks them to spell it.  After completion of 8 words you are told a word, hear it used in a sentence and asked to spell it.  The 8 words are in random order which helps to teach your child to spell them rather than memorize them like other programs.  Since Khloe is still learning her lower case letters by sight I was helping her a little more than I would if she knew them better and plan to repeat the lesson with her.  I had prepared to work with her a little more over the last couple of days, but it has been super hot here leaving her a little cranky and not wanting to sit with mommy to do some lessons.

What I love about ClickN SPELL is the progress reports.  I love being able look back and visually see how she is progressing over time and if she needs to work more in a lesson before moving on.  Cosmo Cat is an excellent teacher and Khloe believes she is playing a game rather than a learning program.
As a mom preparing to homeschool ClickN SPELL is a must have and I will suggest it to any other homeschooling parents.  The added bonus of the progress report make is easy to print out a copy and use it when submitting your progress report or work samples to the school system upon the completion of the school year. Not homeschooling?  ClickN SPELL is still a great program to use with your children to help give them extra practice in their spelling after the school day is over or during the summer to keep them on track when they return to school in the fall.

Buy It

ClickN SPELL is available online at ClickN KIDS for $49.95 for one child (they offer 3 monthly payments of $16.65 as well) and $14.95 to add an additional child to the program.

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